The word "slut," as far as I know, has never been an endearing term. Then again, neither has "murderer."
This past week has boasted an eclectic mix of support for women's rights and as a woman, the question for me becomes: How much is too much?
On May 12, thousands of anti-abortion demonstrators thronged Parliament Hill and marched through downtown Ottawa in what organizers call the "national march for life," calling abortion and murder one and the same.
On May 14, women took to the streets for the inaugural Vancouver SlutWalk, protesting a deeply ingrained social attitude that a woman who dresses a certain way "has it coming" - a phenomenon that began in Toronto this winter after a police officer told York University students that "women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized."
Does this seem a bit extreme to anyone else? If I dress like a slut, I deserve to be raped and if I get an abortion, I'm a murderer?
Oddly enough, although both groups are promoting very different issues, both use shock value to push their point. Anti-abortion protests often feature gruesome images of aborted fetuses and just the word "slut" is enough to make most grandmothers wince and reach for a bar of soap.
In my opinion, the SlutWalk is laudable. The blame-the-victim mentality creates a false sense of security around those who don't "dress like sluts," it ignores male victims of sexual violence and creates a two-tiered system of victims: those who deserve it and those who don't.
No one deserves to be raped. I don't care if he or she is walking down the road naked - the age-old saying "no means no" applies. I don't think said person should be surprised if people stare, but to look and to rape are two very different actions.
If asked, I would also respond that no one deserves to be killed. But ask me whether I support abortion, and I would answer: "No questions asked, I support a woman's right to choose."
See how I shied away from that? I don't want to say out loud, let alone put in writing, that I support killing a fetus/baby, no matter what my inner voice is saying.
One anti-abortion argument is, "Why, when you want it, is it called a baby and when you don't, it's called a fetus?"
Well, why do we say pork instead of pig, steak instead of cow and passed away instead of died? For that matter, why do we say "dressed provocatively" instead of "slut" and "hefty" instead of "fat?"
I believe it's because as a nation we shy away from words, expressions and situations that make us uncomfortable. Canadians are the quickest people, myself included, to say "sorry" that I've ever met.
Which is why I feel that both campaigns are using extremes that will grab headlines and make waves for a quick minute but that push the limits beyond most people's comfort zones.
I will never want to be called a slut, let alone chant, "I'm a slut, hear me roar." And I will never carry a dead fetus sign to deter any woman from bearing an unwanted child in a world where there are already hundreds of thousands.
The irony is that both protests come down to a woman's right to choose - whether it's her right to wear a short skirt or have a child. And as a woman, I personally hope to have the choice of both.
